A Little Rosemary and Time

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August 5, 2015 by alittlerosemary

1 Small Change for Better Relationships

The little things…

Hey everyone! Sorry I went missing…again. Summer is always a tough time for me because quite honestly, the last thing I want to do is spend time in the kitchen. It’s just so hot in my Brooklyn apartment and so many fruits and veggies are just perfect on their own- no cooking or assembly needed- just eat!

I’ve also been making a lot of personal adjustments between working on the apartment before school starts and starting a new job- yay!

While I will be continuing with making recipes I am going to be working much more on making this a content blog- I just love sharing fitness and nutritional advice with you all, but also sharing my life experiences (read: most of my mistakes and learning points!).

So with taking some time off, I wanted to talk about something I’ve been working on recently. Being a cell phone using, always-available-to-chat-electronic junkie, I always used to text my boyfriend, Mr. C. This usually wasn’t important stuff, but really just every little detail of things that happened throughout my day- funny things, happy things, annoying things and everything in between. Every little detail of what happened in my day, I shared. I’m big on sharing.

Anyway, at some point, we got into a “discussion” about how he doesn’t have time to pay attention to all my texts because he’s busy at work etc and then things that are actually important get missed. I decided then and there that I would work on texting and messaging less (this also goes hand in hand with me being less addicted to my phone).

By making this one little change and not texting every little detail of my day to day existence, I found that several wonderful things happened things happened:

1. Less focus on the bad things:

I found that when I didn’t share that little detail of that annoying thing someone did today, I spent less time dwelling on it and spent more of my time thinking about positive things. My mood has improved in general from this because not only do I dwell less, but I often forget about the event entirely!

2. More focus on myself:

Instead of doing things and immediately sharing them with others, I spend more time in the moment and focusing on what I’m doing and the people I’m with then and there.

3. More things to talk about:

Not being a “new” couple, Mr. C and I quickly fell into bad habits and usually run out of things to say at dinner- after all, it’s already been shared throughout the day! When we’re out to dinner we typically resemble that old couple that sits quietly (yet comfortably) together at the table without much to say. Since cutting back on texting I’ve found that we have a lot more to discuss with one another at the end of the day. We are able to update on another but, more importantly, we are able to focus not only on what each of us is saying but how we are saying it. So much is lost through messaging and texting and it’s helped so much with the communication in our relationship.

Moral of the story: Don’t over share and don’t become too addicted to conversations and relationships through your phone!

Have you tried disconnecting more or have you found other ways that have improved your relationships with others? Let me know in the comments- I’d love to talk about it!

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  • Samantha Roberts

    I so agree with all of this! Great tips!

    • Kelsey M

      Thanks Samantha!

  • Esther of Local Adventurer

    I need to try disconnecting more. We actually have been eating our meals at our desk while working.. so that might be even worse than having our cell phones. You do bring up a good point. I always feel like since we’ve been married for 5 years we won’t have much to say.. but if we just put away our phones, maybe we would!! Also, I know it’s not thaaat bad in San Diego, but we have no AC and we haven’t been cooking at home either for that same reason. Turning on the stove or oven just heats up the entire place!

    • Kelsey M

      I’ve definitely been known to do that. We also got into the bad habit of eating while watching TV in the evening recently and had to work back out of doing it. The longer I’m in this relationship, the more I realize that they don’t just become “easy”; you always have to continue putting in effort to keep it healthy and happy. It certainly is a continuous journey!

  • Natalie Uy

    this is really interesting. My fiance and I are not big texters but we’re huge on skype/facetime because we’re long distance x4 years. I wonder how this will change when we’re finally together in the same city. He feels like I spend too much time sharing things of fb and etc – updating take a lot of time

  • Elsa | the whinery

    I love simple doable tips like these! I’ve been trying the whole ‘less focus on the bad things’ approach for a while now, and I like the happier positive person I’m becoming. 🙂

About Me:

Hey there- I'm Kelsey! I'm a has-been big city living, bodybuilding, all-or-nothing kind of gal who is currently enjoying a slower life in a small town off the Chesapeake Bay. I try to travel as much as possible and adore food. I am currently working towards becoming a Registered Dietician. Read More…

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